市场漫步 | Random Walk

人事部新政策

                                      

 

The life in a Wall Street I-Bank has been fun.  For example, you can take whatever-clients-need amount of time for a lunch (every day), read the whole sports section in New York Times in the five-star-hotel quality restroom, take as much as 7X2 days as sick day a year, and of cause, on top of it you have two official personal days…

“EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY : 

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If
you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

 Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

  Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the
stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second
offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

 Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so
that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
 
Thank You for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation
and input should be directed elsewhere.  ”

Damn!

【作者: 锦鳞】【访问统计:】【2006年05月27日 星期六 02:08】【注册】【打印】